Hurried Life...

“If you think of this world as a place intended simply for our happiness, 

you find it quite intolerable: think of it as a place of training and correction 

and it’s not so bad.” ~ C.S. Lewis

This past month has been one of ups and downs, physically and emotional. I posted on Facebook that out of these trials came an opportunity to draw closer to God, a time to “get my attention” and refocus it back to Him. 

Sometimes it seems that I’m no different than a toddler. I find that once again God is having to repeat Himself to me. I thought we were past this? I thought we had this handled? But no, just like a small child, He has to tell me again, “Slow Down!” Funny how I thought to myself that moving 7,000 miles across the Pacific Ocean would some how slow life down. But, it seems that God is still tending to find me caught up in the to do’s of daily life; where rest only comes at the end of the day, that moment when my head hits the pillow. Too busy for God, but busy raising kids Gods way. Too busy for God, but busy nurturing my marriage. Too busy for God, but busy serving in missions overseas. All great things, but too many excuses, none good enough.

So, through divine inspiration and a friendly conversation, God is now leading me on a journey that my hurried soul needs. I am journeying through the book, One Thousand Gifts, by Ann Voskamp. I’m finding it a sometimes painful journey (as my eyes are opened to the truth), but none the less exactly where I need to be in this season. 

As of today, I finished the chapter called, A Sanctuary of Time. Imagine that! I revel in how perfect Gods timing and correction can be. But, as for painful, let me sum it up for you in a quote by Evelyn Underhill, 

“On every level of life, from housework to heights of prayer, in all judgement and efforts to get things done, hurry and impatience are sure marks of the amateur.” 

Ouch! At times...that is exactly me, an amateur. The hurry to get things done. Amateur; incompetent, inept, unskillful, clumsy. Well, I like to think of myself as the opposite of all of those things; I can cook, cloth diaper, keep house, manage a family, school my children, keep a garden, wash the laundry...and I can do it in record time, always able to squeeze in just one more thing; life as a housewife, I think I’m quite skilled. And, maybe so, but I think I’ve missed the big picture once again. Mark Buchanan in the book, The Rest of God, sums it up, 

“Being in a hurry. Getting to the next thing without fully entering the thing in front of me. I cannot think of a single advantage I’ve ever gained from being in a hurry. But a thousand broken and missed things, tens of thousands lie in the wake of all the rushing...Through all that haste I thought I was making up time. It turns out I was throwing it away.”  

So, in fact, the very things that I am “skilled” at have made me an amateur at life. Life; the things in front of me today, the things that matter, the moments that make you stop and thank our Creator for His Grace. Amateur, yes, I am an expert at hurry and impatience, but unskilled at relishing life. Why didn’t I see it before? “We are merely moving shadows, and all our busy rushing around ends in nothing.” (Psalm 39:6) Nothing...

So, the question must be asked, “What am I doing about it?”. You can’t have change without action. In the first few chapters of Ann’s book, she talks about being present, thanking God in all things, finding an attitude of gratitude in the seemingly insignificant. One question she asked hit home, “When did I stop thinking life was dessert?” Enjoying every morsel, bite by bite? I must see the seemingly insignificant moments, the every day moments, as dessert. I must stop my hurried pace in those moments and thank God for them, name them, say them, point them out.

This book, this challenge, to live right where you are, indeed a lofty goal. I am taking this moment by moment, for there is much more work for God to do, so many more details to work out. Yet, as I stop to thank God for the little moments, He is certainly showing me how He can multiply my time. He is showing me that in the hurried pace I loose so much, so many “dessert” moments, the little things that will one day be just memories.

Whether a first “meow” for a babbling one year old, a warm gooey chocolate chip cookie in the stillness of the evening, or the simple twinkle of Christmas lights atop a tree, I will stop, slow down, savor, and thank God for the tasty morsels in my life. I’m certainly not all there yet, but I’m consciously working on it...

And yet, there are seven more chapters to go on just this one journey...

Blessings,

Stephanie

“I will not desecrate this moment with ignorant hurry or sordid ingratitude. 

I will be Jacob, and I will name this moment the “house of God” (Genesis 28:19).” 

One Thousand Gifts, pp. 70